17.

On the nights I could sleep, my body would awake choking on stomach acid or hot bile, needing to vomit, reminding me of pregnancy. 

Pregnancy: Every night needing to spit, the flow of saliva returning to my mouth as quickly as it exited. Linking my inside self to the outside world visible, transparent & flowing.

During this difference your body had no comparison to mine, mine felt everything felt different. Every effort was carefully manoeuvred into place so as not to cause extra stress or increased chemicals. I mainly lay on my back, sometime having phone calls, sometimes not.

I almost became psychic. In moments I knew everything and the problems of myself, peers and the world hung above, statically cast, ready to examine and critique and comment on. The invisible became graspable  – a map – both electric and frozen

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